Open Letter Of Sympathy To Rush

Dear Rush

By Paul Revere , October 14

I was so glad to hear that you wouldn't allow anybody to consider you a "hero" when the news broke about your being a pill popping junkie all these years, even as you were sermonizing and condemning others from your 50,000 watt pulpit for the very things you were surreptitiously doing for so long yourself.

You're so courageous to come out and finally make a "clean breast of things" I'm sure your legions of devoted fans and the Florida State Prosecutors in West Palm will appreciate that. But I guess you've already considered that too since you regularly function so well with " half your brain tied behind your back" and not to mention all that "talent on loan from God".

Well, anyway, now that you've finally been exposed as the liar, ultra hypocrite and, oh yeah.. criminal that you were all along, I guess a little healing and reconciliation is actually in order to clear the air.

It's a sure bet that the " Liberals" and Bill Clinton are behind this whole mess and, with a little honest luck, you might have some long overdue "time on your hands" to figure out just how they pulled this off and managed to cunningly manipulate you into this predicament.

Therefore, I've decided to offer a little brotherly, heartfelt advice to you in the hopes it will make your tribulations a little easier to handle along the way.

1) Wear some nice new sneakers. Fat ass, rich, white pussies really attract a lot of attention in the joint. You'll need something to barter with since they won't let you have cash and the Aryan Nation, Crips, and Bloods don't take Visa, Mastercard or Amex. Maybe you can smuggle some of those little "blue babies" through security in your ass hole. In fact, if you do it that way, you'll probably be able to get a whole truck load through in one shot and you'll be sitting (and shitting) pretty for a good long while.

2. Try to get lined up as a "bitch" with some of the gang leaders right away to insure protection. Maybe even consider some plastic surgery and a hair transplant.

If the homeboys recognize you, you're dead meat even if you are one of their "girlfriends". Remember, a lot of them might not be very happy with you since they were probably convicted by a jury of brain dead, arch conservative crackers that were listening to your electromagnetic sewage on their car radios as they were on their way down to the courthouse for jury duty.

3. Most important: Try to relax into the new environment. Remember: "Do the time, don't let the time do you." Try to think happy thoughts.

Maybe you'll even have some of your favorite pals joining you soon if there's enough pressure mounted for a special prosecutor to investigate TreasonGate. Wouldn't that be cool? Maybe you could get a game of hearts for blowjobs going with Cheney, "Wolfie", Abrams, Perle, Rove, Feith and the rest of the crew. See..? Things aren't so bad. Keep the faith Rush baby.

Best regards,

Paul

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